No Turning Back

NO TURNING BACK

There is an old song "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus" that my family sang many years ago. The line that keeps going around in my head is no turning back...I never really thought about it in real life application before now.  Some impactful changes in our lives in 2017 and 2018 and no turning back the pages even if we wanted to.

In 2017:
- I resigned from my beloved job of 10 years at a school and miss the community and families there.

- We moved my mother into a basement apartment of our new house, bringing changes for both of us.  

- In a freak health complication, I lost my ability to sing anymore and have missed this way of communion with God so much that it physically pains me -I love singing! 
- We said our earthly final goodbye to my father in law after a long painful death as well as having my mother in law now 8 hours away.

In 2018:
- We took our youngest over 900 miles away to college leaving us completely empty nesters.
-  In July we say goodbye to our oldest and her family as they follow their calling and go to Korr, Kenya to serve Him there indefinitely. 
We've raised our children - no going back and no second chances to fix our errors/mistakes in raising them. Turning our energy now on learning how to put on the armor, entrust them all to the one who created them and put on the role of cheerleader, prayer warrior, and supporter instead.

The world behind me, the cross before me
It feels like the best part of lives is over as far as raising up our blessings God gave us.  We knew the day was coming but held it at arm's length because of the joy it has brought us!  We embrace the cycle God himself designed for our lives and look to the cross alone, desperate for a glimpse of His love for us, His plan and guiding love. So perhaps the best is yet to come?

Though none go with me still I will follow
Honestly, it feels lonely, vulnerable and painful not to have a hand in ours to hold or a shoulder to turn in the right direction.  And yet in obedience, we continue to follow Him with eyes lifted to the cross.  Trusting and yearning for His return so all this will be restored unto us on that glorious day.

I have decided to follow Jesus
Following Jesus remains constant - other things change, move, die, wrinkle, wither away, and leave us weary, but in Him, we place our trust.

What things are you complaining about? Dirty laundry?  Legos all over the floor?  Dirty bedrooms, high cellphone bills with data over usage charges? Instead of rushing through life trying to make everything perfect or "post worthy" - just love your littles, hold your babies, talk to your teens, hug your parents, make the messes and hold tight to the memories because you only have this moment today.

Psalm 16:2 NLT

"I said to the Lord, You are my Master! Every good thing I have comes from you."