How good are you at letting go? I think on a scale of 1 to 10 I'm a 9 on a regular basis. I understand that in life, there will be friends who will hold grudges and never allow themselves to heal - thus making things uncomfortable for them when you see each other - I can let that go.
There will be bad choices from the past that come back to haunt you once in a while and you kick yourself wishing you had done things differently - I can let that go.
There have been numerous parenting mistakes, marriage fails (and diets) that have failed miserably...that I can also LET GO!
So with all that "emotional health" (debatable maybe) mentioned above, I figured being a parent of a missionary would be one more thing that I could lay at the cross and let go of. Of course, they've only been gone a couple of months, and with technology, we get to hear their voices and talk with them at least once a week. The things that are the hardest is not getting to hold the kids, not rock them, smell their clean little bodies after a bath or hold my daughter's hand when we talk or look into her eyes to really FEEL what she is feeling when we're having a heart to heart. These are the things...I just can't let go.
Our youngest, Ben, is at college in California, far away as well, so as I struggle through this new normal of our lives. Today though after time in the Word, I realized I don't have to let it go in the usual way. This time, I am challenged to do just the opposite. I am clinging to each precious moment and memory that I can possibly recall. Going through all the Smugmug photo albums I've made over the years since Joshua was born, watching old videos, even going downstairs to where the remainder of the Schultz's belongings are and allow myself to have all the emotions wash over me, forcing me to work through the reality of what is...and be thankful. I pray over them and Ben as I have the family "Africa wall" in the living room so that I can see each face and pray specifically over them in the mornings.
I do know that God is faithful, God is enough and I am reminded that He had to let go of His child once too, so He fully understands my heart. I am called to obedience and sacrifice, and I want to honor Him in these ways. Only with His help...and clinging to Him.
There will be bad choices from the past that come back to haunt you once in a while and you kick yourself wishing you had done things differently - I can let that go.
There have been numerous parenting mistakes, marriage fails (and diets) that have failed miserably...that I can also LET GO!
So with all that "emotional health" (debatable maybe) mentioned above, I figured being a parent of a missionary would be one more thing that I could lay at the cross and let go of. Of course, they've only been gone a couple of months, and with technology, we get to hear their voices and talk with them at least once a week. The things that are the hardest is not getting to hold the kids, not rock them, smell their clean little bodies after a bath or hold my daughter's hand when we talk or look into her eyes to really FEEL what she is feeling when we're having a heart to heart. These are the things...I just can't let go.
Our youngest, Ben, is at college in California, far away as well, so as I struggle through this new normal of our lives. Today though after time in the Word, I realized I don't have to let it go in the usual way. This time, I am challenged to do just the opposite. I am clinging to each precious moment and memory that I can possibly recall. Going through all the Smugmug photo albums I've made over the years since Joshua was born, watching old videos, even going downstairs to where the remainder of the Schultz's belongings are and allow myself to have all the emotions wash over me, forcing me to work through the reality of what is...and be thankful. I pray over them and Ben as I have the family "Africa wall" in the living room so that I can see each face and pray specifically over them in the mornings.
I do know that God is faithful, God is enough and I am reminded that He had to let go of His child once too, so He fully understands my heart. I am called to obedience and sacrifice, and I want to honor Him in these ways. Only with His help...and clinging to Him.
Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice!
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